Happy Labor Day! The day all of America is celebrating….what, exactly? I’m almost embarrassed to admit that I don’t know what Labor Day is all about. I say almost because I think that most Americans don’t really know what we are celebrating, so technically I’m not in the minority. We are just ecstatic to have a three-day weekend! So I had to do some research. It turns out that Labor Day is more than just the unofficial end of summer. It became an official US holiday in 1894 to honor the American labor movement. Huh? To any American alive today, the labor movement is a thing of the past. To summarize, workers in the olden days didn’t have regulations to protect them against bad guy bosses. So unions and other federations were formed and yada yada yada, Happy Labor Day.
So in honor of Labor Day, I was thinking about the jobs that I would NOT like to do, which happens to be the jobs that I’m most grateful for those who do them. Below are just a few examples of professions to which I would be a terrible addition:
- Nurse. I have a quick gag-reflex and I can barely stomach my own children’s excrements nonetheless the nastiness of strangers. I might could handle being a newborn nurse taking care of brand new babies, but then the problem would be that I’d want to keep them all and I doubt their parents would appreciate that.
- Garbage collector. For the same reason as stated above, I have a weak stomach. In addition to a weak stomach, I have the upper body strength of a toothpick and wouldn’t be able to lift the heavy trash cans. Maybe I could drive the truck, but again, the stench.
- Police Officer. I would never in a million years be a police officer, nor would you want me to be. Police officers are the nicest and bravest members of our society. Are there a few who do the job to suit their Napoleon complex? Sure. But for the vast majority, police officers feel a call of duty to protect our neighborhoods and keep our children safe. I teach my children a healthy amount of fear and respect for any person in uniform. I was always in awe of police officers when I was little; they were the epitome of all things brave and good in our world. But nowadays, our police officers are not given the benefit of the doubt, disrespected and virtually spat on throughout our nation. So if I were a police officer, I’d be anxious putting on my uniform not only because of the inherent danger of the job but because portions of our country have lost their minds and don’t show respect to officers anymore. And because of that anxiety, I wouldn’t be able to complete my tasks to the best of my ability because I’d be worried about something being misconstrued or video taped and edited or just plain attacked. It all goes back to my favorite saying “Do Unto Others as You’d Have Done Unto You”. If you treat a cop with respect and kindness, chances are he’ll do the same for you. Thank you, police officers.
- Military. See above, noting the weak stomach, weak arms, non-braveness and anxiety. I wouldn’t be able to pass an obstacle course or carry all that gear if my life depended on it. And I certainly wouldn’t be able to live without my family for months and years on end like our military families have to endure. To put your life on the line every minute of every day simply for your love of country? I think it’s amazing that we have so many courageous people who are willing to do that. And I thank you.
There are plenty of other jobs that I wouldn’t want to do, but all of which fall into the too gross, not strong or brave enough, not respected enough category. And some of which I’m just too damn lazy for. But today I thank all of you who do those thankless jobs.
P.S. And to all those retail workers who don’t have today off because of the “Major”, “Don’t Miss”, “Lowest Prices Ever” Labor Day sales, I thank you too.